That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
