I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
