Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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