He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize