I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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