I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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