ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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