So drunk, too bad you don't want this
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
