I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
dude. I can hear the air.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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