fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
