Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Boobs are out for the taking
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
