his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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