Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
