I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
