its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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