Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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