We're like a lot better than the average bears
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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