Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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