Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
