i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
