is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
