I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
