He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
