I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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