ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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