Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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