So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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