Texts From Last Night

(917): View more from New York City

when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.

(917): View more from New York City

Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.

(347): View more from New York

he is a god among men.

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And off to the friendzone he goes..

Submitted by Nero905 on Jan 10, 12 at 4:36pm

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- lmao yep!
  
  Submitted by nunubeest on Jan 10, 12 at 5:13pm
  
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  - Rarely do we get rewarded for being a gentleman.
    
    Submitted by SnidelyKWhiplash on Jan 10, 12 at 6:28pm
    
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    How many personalities do you have, Snidely? ;-) And this dude I would definitely NOT friendzone!!!
    
    Submitted by SCBeauty1983 on Jan 10, 12 at 7:13pm
    
    115 117
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    You must be the exception considering pretty much every other chick considers this instant friendzone qualification
    
    Submitted by marchalj on Jan 11, 12 at 11:40am
    
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    Agreed. He'd be #1 on my future husband list.
    
    Submitted by erisblake on Jan 31, 12 at 10:42pm
    
    118 112
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    Obviously you aren't a gentleman if you consider being nice to a girl just a points system inorder for her to sleep with you. And people like you are why women are so hesitant to believe there are nice guys out there.
    
    Submitted by flannelpower on Jan 30, 13 at 9:56pm
    
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Go blow him right now. He deserves it.

Submitted by ebm56 on Jan 10, 12 at 6:25pm

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Marry him.

Submitted by WSA1327 on Jan 10, 12 at 5:10pm

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Wow, texts like this restore my faith in the human race.

Submitted by yewinnhard on Jan 10, 12 at 4:31pm

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I can't believe any sane woman would put this guy in the friend zone

Submitted by sunshine1114 on Jan 10, 12 at 7:13pm

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..Marry him, or I will. Seriously

Submitted by bollywoodflow on Jan 10, 12 at 5:55pm

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you better have given him the best bj in the world.

Submitted by playin on Jan 10, 12 at 8:28pm

174 115
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keeper for sure

Submitted by ImFckngMattDamon on Jan 10, 12 at 11:26pm

148 102
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Waffles will get you laid!!!!

Submitted by porksword on Jan 10, 12 at 10:32pm

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- Yeah the will!!!
  
  Submitted by Thatzwhatshesaid on Jan 11, 12 at 11:17am
  
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that sounds familiar to me, cept my man never stole a shopping cart, altho he has carried me home from the bar, even tho i puked all over him and he even changed me into pajamas. i say good deal.

Submitted by MsMurder813 on Jan 11, 12 at 12:57am

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He's a keeper

Submitted by choke_me on Jan 10, 12 at 9:15pm

154 117
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You better have his baby for this.

Submitted by cfreymarc on Jan 10, 12 at 9:51pm

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I read "tucked me in" as "fucked me in (the shopping cart)"

Submitted by tlovell on Jan 10, 12 at 4:26pm

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Yep he is going to get shoved straight into the friend zone.

Submitted by zooker on Jan 11, 12 at 3:18am

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He's def a keeper !! Hell, I'd marry him !!

Submitted by sumtimes on Jan 11, 12 at 5:32am

126 124
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Now he's a keeper!

Submitted by EHSBaby on Jan 10, 12 at 10:48pm

132 136
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He's gonna get friend zoned.

Submitted by Distint on Jan 12, 12 at 11:16am

128 130
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Waffles

Submitted by ttchuii1 on Jan 10, 12 at 9:22pm

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Yeah especially in newyork??

Submitted by haynay23 on Jan 10, 12 at 4:39pm

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LMAO! Only on Staten Island! "heres your shopping cart madame"

Submitted by Bewilderedbitch on Jan 12, 12 at 5:28pm

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Let me find a guy who would do that for me. I would love him forever.

Submitted by naturesfreak on Jan 13, 12 at 4:02am

118 124
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I want someone like that

Submitted by rose26 on Jan 11, 12 at 12:04am

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I've done this so many times and Im still in the friend zone where I am destined to stay...lotta women just keep you there because there afraid you'll become like all the other assholes that they fucked

Submitted by nunubeest on Jan 10, 12 at 8:05pm

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- or honestly you're too good for them anyway after all it only takes one girl who will appreciate it all :)
  
  Submitted by puffandstuff on Jan 10, 12 at 8:28pm
  
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  - lol the ones that would live 3000 miles away the ones here think im ga.y/a pussy if I don't molest them and if I do I'm a perv
    
    Submitted by nunubeest on Jan 10, 12 at 11:07pm
    
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    I'm 3000 miles away. You Talkin about me? LOL.
    
    Submitted by Luvvyboo2 on Jan 11, 12 at 12:21am
    
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He is a man I would proudly call my brother.

Submitted by Nidonemo on Jan 13, 12 at 3:44pm

105 118
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a good guy, but will probably get stepped all over.

Submitted by mmtija on Jan 12, 12 at 3:48am

105 120
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Down voters be damned.

Submitted by Burns on Jan 10, 12 at 8:25pm

110 138
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comment submitted!

Submitted by rockinlereddir on Jan 12, 12 at 2:27am

118 155
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Yeah, marry him!

Submitted by HIGH_SPEED_DIRT on Jan 26, 12 at 12:24am

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So your ideal man is one that enables your alcoholism, doesn't want sex and feeds you more calories than you will burn off. Anyone else see where this is headed?

Submitted by PostHocErgo on Jan 11, 12 at 10:25am

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- A horrible snuff film?
  
  Submitted by Bewilderedbitch on Jan 12, 12 at 5:27pm
  
  85 122
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Pure class

Submitted by rippedrick on Jan 21, 12 at 1:17am

92 106
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Keeper

Submitted by hilltopper on Jan 11, 12 at 9:19am

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<3

Submitted by iiSunshine on Jan 10, 12 at 9:34pm

106 138
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close, but no cigar. you can tell because he settled for you

Submitted by Austimagne on Jan 15, 12 at 1:09am

98 123
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Yu must be a big bitch if that nigga had to wheel yu.! Hahaha

Submitted by cashmoneybby2 on Jan 10, 12 at 8:26pm

129 188
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I used to be a nice guy like that... and always got stuck in the friend zone. now I'm an ass and get laid 100% more often. lol this guy is quite nice but unless he fucked her brains out after waffles he is gonna get zoned

Submitted by tommyboy20 on Jan 12, 12 at 7:30am

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since this probably some girl in the city, she probably won't like him since he lives in a different part of the city

Submitted by puffandstuff on Jan 10, 12 at 6:42pm

115 163
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Husband that shit before he flies out a window or something!!!!!

Submitted by CoraRainebow on Jul 1, 13 at 12:11am

77 90
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Na he just wants to have buttsex

Submitted by PHD1026 on Jan 22, 12 at 11:01pm

82 106
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Marry him.

Submitted by bee222 on Jan 30, 12 at 12:29am

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The man is clever. I mean, to deal like this with the lack of a car? Brilliant.

Submitted by boood on Jan 16, 12 at 3:44pm

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All the keepers are women saying he's being kept only as a friend right? Because that's what happens.

Submitted by kingcrow on Jan 12, 12 at 11:48pm

78 132
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This text is old as shit but I gotta say, if I found a dude who did all this shit for me, I'd propose immediately after the waffles

Submitted by FuckboyPrime on Aug 11, 16 at 8:21am

0 0
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(917): View more from New York City

(917): View more from New York City

(347): View more from New York

Comments

Submitted by Nero905 on Jan 10, 12 at 4:36pm

Submitted by nunubeest on Jan 10, 12 at 5:13pm

Submitted by SnidelyKWhiplash on Jan 10, 12 at 6:28pm

Submitted by SCBeauty1983 on Jan 10, 12 at 7:13pm

Submitted by marchalj on Jan 11, 12 at 11:40am

Submitted by erisblake on Jan 31, 12 at 10:42pm

Submitted by flannelpower on Jan 30, 13 at 9:56pm

Submitted by ebm56 on Jan 10, 12 at 6:25pm

Submitted by WSA1327 on Jan 10, 12 at 5:10pm

Submitted by yewinnhard on Jan 10, 12 at 4:31pm

Submitted by sunshine1114 on Jan 10, 12 at 7:13pm

Submitted by bollywoodflow on Jan 10, 12 at 5:55pm

Submitted by playin on Jan 10, 12 at 8:28pm

Submitted by ImFckngMattDamon on Jan 10, 12 at 11:26pm

Submitted by porksword on Jan 10, 12 at 10:32pm

Submitted by Thatzwhatshesaid on Jan 11, 12 at 11:17am

Submitted by MsMurder813 on Jan 11, 12 at 12:57am

Submitted by choke_me on Jan 10, 12 at 9:15pm

Submitted by cfreymarc on Jan 10, 12 at 9:51pm

Submitted by tlovell on Jan 10, 12 at 4:26pm

Submitted by zooker on Jan 11, 12 at 3:18am

Submitted by sumtimes on Jan 11, 12 at 5:32am

Submitted by EHSBaby on Jan 10, 12 at 10:48pm

Submitted by Distint on Jan 12, 12 at 11:16am

Submitted by ttchuii1 on Jan 10, 12 at 9:22pm

Submitted by haynay23 on Jan 10, 12 at 4:39pm

Submitted by Bewilderedbitch on Jan 12, 12 at 5:28pm

Submitted by naturesfreak on Jan 13, 12 at 4:02am

Submitted by rose26 on Jan 11, 12 at 12:04am

Submitted by nunubeest on Jan 10, 12 at 8:05pm

Submitted by puffandstuff on Jan 10, 12 at 8:28pm

Submitted by nunubeest on Jan 10, 12 at 11:07pm

Submitted by Luvvyboo2 on Jan 11, 12 at 12:21am

Submitted by Nidonemo on Jan 13, 12 at 3:44pm

Submitted by mmtija on Jan 12, 12 at 3:48am

Submitted by Burns on Jan 10, 12 at 8:25pm

Submitted by rockinlereddir on Jan 12, 12 at 2:27am

Submitted by HIGH_SPEED_DIRT on Jan 26, 12 at 12:24am

Submitted by PostHocErgo on Jan 11, 12 at 10:25am

Submitted by Bewilderedbitch on Jan 12, 12 at 5:27pm

Submitted by rippedrick on Jan 21, 12 at 1:17am

Submitted by hilltopper on Jan 11, 12 at 9:19am

Submitted by iiSunshine on Jan 10, 12 at 9:34pm

Submitted by Austimagne on Jan 15, 12 at 1:09am

Submitted by cashmoneybby2 on Jan 10, 12 at 8:26pm

Submitted by tommyboy20 on Jan 12, 12 at 7:30am

Submitted by puffandstuff on Jan 10, 12 at 6:42pm

Submitted by CoraRainebow on Jul 1, 13 at 12:11am

Submitted by PHD1026 on Jan 22, 12 at 11:01pm

Submitted by bee222 on Jan 30, 12 at 12:29am

Submitted by boood on Jan 16, 12 at 3:44pm

Submitted by kingcrow on Jan 12, 12 at 11:48pm

Submitted by FuckboyPrime on Aug 11, 16 at 8:21am

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