If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
