I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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