when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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