I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
