I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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