I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
