I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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