he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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