that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
