I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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