okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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