And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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