roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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