is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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