just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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