yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
