Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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