So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
