Define "chronic" masturbator.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
