Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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