Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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