He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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