I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
