Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
