i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
