three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize