who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
