Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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