Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
