This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
