If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
