We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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