Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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