Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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