No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
