We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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