I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Success! We fucked roommates!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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