Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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