Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
