ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
