i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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