On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize