five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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