We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
